Very Insane
by Delenn
Summary: When Aphrodite decides to have a party, she blackmails all the least likely people so that they have to show. Reply to a challenge issued by Ares’ Chosen. Ares/Xena


**Little Note: This story is purely for fun, and to keep the people from the Ares & Xena Shippers Club from going crazy!!   
  
Disclaimer: I get no profit from this story. The characters ECT, as well as the story idea belongs to ME!! The characters Del and AC belong to themselves. The characters Xena, Hercules, Ares, Gabrielle and Iolaus do not belong to me, they belong to whoever owns X:WP and H:TLJ! And I am just borrowing them. No copy write infringement intended. Please do not use this story on your web site, web page ECT. without first asking me and receiving my permission, you may however use this story for private use, but must use it with all disclaimers and warnings. If you would like to send this story to a friend, please ask me first, and receive my permission, and you must not get any profit from the transaction.   
  
Authors notes: Wow that was a pretty long disclaimer wasn't it?? I hope I got everything in though, I don't want anybody to take this story the wrong way! This is the reply to a challenge issued to me by Rebecca (AC)!   
  
The Challenge:   
1) Must have the following characters: Ares, Xena, Iphicles, Gabrielle, Cupid, Caesar, Aphrodite, Iolaus, Hercules, Rebecca (AC) and Del.   
2) A party, after Eve is born.   
3) Ares/Xena romance.   
4) Del must get stuck in a cupboard with a guy   
5) Rebecca must have a romance with either Cupid or Iphicles.   
6) Characters must play the following games: Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle.   
7) Story can take as long as necessary, but cannot be short!   
  
Dedications: This story is for Kat, Illy, Barb, Noie, Liz, SR, Sara, Tali, Tareena, Maureen, Megan, Mel, Eris, GOM, Grey, Lily, Xtreme, Ephy, Acacia, Kor, Destiny, Gata, Lady Kate, Kari, Gala, AC, for everyone I missed, and for everyone at the shippers club for their support, and for liking my stories, even when I didn't! (Man I really should alphabetize)   
  
Warnings: Sex: Nope. Subtext: None. Language: Mild. Violence: Nuhuh.   
  
Rated: PG-13   
  
Summary: When Aphrodite decides to have a party, she blackmails all the least likely people so that they have to show.   
  
'If I go crazy, will you still call me Superman?' Three Doors Down from the song 'Kryptonite'   
  
Song Choice note: I love this song, and I just had to put it in somewhere!   
  
Now for the story!!!!! *Everyone still here claps***   
  


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Very Insane   
By Delenn

  
  
  
  


-INSANE-

  
  
Del sat on a large black throne, moping, and in her opinion, she had a good cause! A flash of blue light alerted her to her brother's presence, it was time to stake her case. "ARES!! You'll never guess what Aphrodite did!"   
  
Ares chuckled cautiously "What did she do, Del?"   
  
Del whined, getting up off her brothers throne and coming to stand in front of him. "She's making ME throw a party!"   
  
Ares prompted, walking around his little sister and sitting on his previously occupied throne, "And?"   
  
Del giggled, "It's a sleep-over, party thingy and you have to come... Dite would do it herself but Zeus said no more sleepovers after Bliss got his hair spiked green... She blackmailed me!"   
  
Ares shook his head "No way! I am not going to one of Dite's parties, even if it is at your palace... Exactly how did she blackmail you?"   
  
Del shrugged "Apparently she keeps tabs on what we do... By the way this is for you." She handed her big brother a letter.   
  
Ares read the letter and paled considerably... "You're kidding, right Del?"   
  
Del shook her head sadly "How are we gonna survive?"   
  
Ares chuckled evilly, a plan forming in his head. "The little blond is coming, we can torture her, alright sis?"   
  
Del giggled, bending down and giving her big brother a hug, "Sounds great! Love ya bro! I have to go get ready.... Aphrodite gave me a list of possible outfits."   
  
Ares sighed, "See you sis.... Don't forget to set your traps!"   
  
Del giggled again, noting that she would have to throw a party more often if this was the result. Ares rolled his eyes as he watched the sister he got along with best disappear in a shards of purple light... This would be interesting to say the least.   
  


-INSANE-

  
  
Xena was riding Argo when she heard something rustling in the bushes... she jumped off her horse just in time to see Hercules back out, followed by Iolaus who was being kissed by Aphrodite. Xena raised an eyebrow, and looked to her friend for a response. Gabrielle stood shocked, before she ran up to Iolaus and pried him free from Aphrodite with an outraged "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING DITE??"   
  
Aphrodite smiled "I couldn't help it? Right Curly, it was totally innocent... For me!"   
  
Xena put her sword away "And what are you doing here Aphrodite? No more arrows, please!"   
  
Aphrodite raised a dainty hand slowly "Wait two seconds warrior babe!"   
  
Iphicles walked in, with Rebecca, being herded by Cupid. "Okay mom, this is all of them!"   
  
Rebecca looked up "Oh no, Dite? What is this!"   
  
Iphicles just stood stunned, along with his half brother Hercules. Aphrodite smiled happily "Hello all, Del is having a party and you're all invited. Courtesy a-la-Dite! Have fun! Enjoy the outfits!"   
  
In a flash of pink light similar to an atomic bomb, it could be seen for miles, they all disappeared.   
  


-INSANE-

  
  
Del suddenly felt nauseous, unsure as to the feeling she did the only thing she could, prepared to faint and called for her brother "Ares!!"   
  
Ares appeared just in time to catch his falling sister, and to realize the problem. Letting Del drop onto her throne he called "Aphrodite! What are you doing?"   
  
In a second Aphrodite appeared with startled guests and a grinning Cupid. Aphrodite chuckled, then looked over to her older siblings. "You guys didn't change! I'll have to do it!"   
  
Ares warned, fearing for his sanity, "Don't even think of it Dite!"   
  
Del woke just right at the moment she was zapped into a different outfit. "Ack... NO!!"   
  
Attempting to change the offending dress off of her, Del only succeeded in changing the color from pink to purple, scared about the idea of being stuck in this dress no matter what Del screamed. "BRO!!!!!"   
  
Ares turned to see Del standing up in a rather revealing outfit... surely not too much worse then some of her outfits. AT this exact time Xena and Rebecca looked down and screamed "Dite, NO!!"   
  
Del was in a long dark purple dress, with a split all the way up her leg on one side, she was in heeled black boots up to her knees as usual, the top of the dress angled down, revealing to much skin in Ares opinion, and was completely backless, with a titled diamond cut out on her stomach.   
Xena was in a long dark red dress, with a split on either side of it, the dress was strapless, but showed enough skin to make Ares stare, in similar boots as Del and Rebecca.   
Rebecca was in a long dark blue dress, with a split up to above her knees in the back, criss-crossed straps adorned her back and stomach, the top of the dress was a solid tube top like thing, and had spaghetti straps that coincided with the other patterns throughout the dress. None of the dresses were fit for warriors.   
Gabrielle was in a dark green bikini top that flowed down into a long wrap around dress. (Think bikini top and sarong skirt, showing no stomach.)   
Aphrodite was in a long light pink dress; see through at the stomach, with a split up to her knees in the front, and a bra like top.   
  
Cupid turned to Rebecca when she screamed, and his jaw dropped at the sight. Iphicles surveyed the palace he was in, until his eyes came to rest on Del, who was reclining on her throne, obviously unhappy. Iolaus was grinning from ear to ear about Gabrielle's outfit. And Hercules couldn't help but stare at Aphrodite. All the men simultaneously said, "Wow..."   
  
Aphrodite giggled "Isn't this gonna be fun girls?"   
  
Xena looked up at Ares "It's not polite to stare... Yeah Dite this will be fun."   
  
Rebecca pretended to faint, just to be caught by Cupid, who really was stopping her breath. "Thanks! Fun? Yeah, it'll be fun."   
  
Gabrielle smiled happily "I love the dress, Dite, totally fun!!"   
  
Del looked up and saw Iphicles "Yeah... Just great Dite..."   
  
Aphrodite smiled, and looked to the men "Yo, guys, you trying to catch flies?"   
  
The men promptly closed their mouths, stopped staring and looked at the floor. Del made a piece of paper appear. "Okay looks like we're playing... Truth or Dare..." She mumbled "I'm gonna kill Dite for blaming me for this!"   
  
Dite smiled happily, glad that Del hadn't forgotten the list she made. "Okay everyone sit in a circle!"   
  
Xena sat down next to Del, Rebecca sat on the other side of Del and Gabrielle sat on the other side of Xena. Iolaus sat next to Gabrielle, and Hercules sat next to Iolaus, Aphrodite promptly sat down next to Hercules. Ares sat next to Aphrodite, Cupid sat next to him, and Iphicles sat next to Cupid. Del giggled, "Okay I'll pick who goes first!"   
  
A purple explosion sounded above Rebecca, drowning her leftover sparks. Rebecca brushed off the sparks "HEY!"   
  
Del shrugged "Sorry!"   
  
Rebecca grimaced, still wiping off purple sparks, which were disappearing much to her dismay. "Okay, Iolaus, Truth or Dare?"   
  
Iolaus looked around, nervous, "Truth?"   
  
Rebecca smiled evilly "When you looked over at Gabrielle a few minutes ago, EXACTLY what did you want to do to her?"   
  
Iolaus blushed crimson, fidgeting in his seat next to Gabrielle. "Kiss her..."   
  
Everyone else tried not to laugh, Rebecca grumbled slightly, and Dite announced "Okay Curly, your turn!"   
  
Iolaus smiled slowly "Del, truth or dare?"   
  
Del shrugged, "Alright Dare."   
  
Iolaus thought quickly "Dare ya to kiss Iphicles!"   
  
Del giggled, passing Iolaus a smile that assured him his fate was long and painful. She glided up to Iphicles, who was sitting between Rebecca and Cupid, leaned over and kissed Iphicles, pushing him back. After a moment she stood, a naughty grin on her face "That what ya meant Curly?"   
  
Rebecca, who had moved over the minute she heard the dare, and Xena sighed; it was impossible to change Del. Iolaus paled as Del took her seat again, because at that moment he caught the look Ares was giving him, one which he wished he hadn't seen. Del laughed evilly "Dite, truth or dare?"   
  
Aphrodite, who had done many things she didn't want exposed, and who knew that Del would ask just the truth she would never want to admit took a deep breath and whispered. "Dare?"   
  
Del smiled wickedly. "I dare you to give Iolaus the FULL treatment... Sit back and enjoy Iolaus!"   
  
Iolaus paled, what exactly was the full treatment? Xena and Rebecca collapsed laughing. "Uh, do I have to agree to this?"   
  
Both Rebecca and Xena nodded and managed between fits of laughter "YES!!"   
  
Aphrodite got up, her face resolute, and walked over to Iolaus, kissing him on the cheek. In a flash of pink sparks Iolaus was changed into a frilly pink tutu, his hair was done up, he had on lipstick and makeup-all pink- and where Dite had kissed him was a pink heart tattoo. Iolaus gasped in horror as Dite shrunk back to her seat "Sorry, Curly! Had to."   
  
Hercules looked at his poor friend "That's it?"   
  
Xena managed to stop laughing, and sat up straight again, "There are certain side effects, right Dite?"   
  
Dite nodded pitifully. "Ok my turn right? I dare 'Becca to kiss Cupie!"   
  
Rebecca stopped laughing immediately and blushed. "Uh okay..."   
  
She stood up, her confidence returning, so what if she had just been dared to kiss the god of love? She could handle it! Rebecca watched Cupid stand up and strolled over to him, simply intending to give him a light kiss. However when their lips met she fell into a trance.   
  
Dite exclaiming "Oh crap I totally forgot... Caesar's coming, Hades let him off to come to the party... cause he owed me a huge favor, tootles!" Brought Rebecca back from her trance.   
  
As Cupid and Rebecca separated, embarrassed, Xena screamed at the departing goddess "CAESAR, that Bastard!? Noooo, Dite, I said NO!"   
  
Ares looked to his little sister "Del, you didn't mention Caesar being here."   
  
Del scanned through her list of people to invite, knowing how much Xena despised Caesar, "Uh, his name isn't on here... Sorry Xena, but I didn't know ANYTHING about this! I swear." At Xena's scathing look Del held out the list "Here, look for yourself!"   
  
Xena grabbed the list and scanned over it quickly, tossing it on the floor when she was finished. "Fine, you didn't know about Caesar coming, but this whole thing could've been avoided if you hadn't let Dite run this party in the first place."   
  
Del threw her hands up in exasperation "It's not MY fault! She pulled everything she knows about me since her birth! Do you KNOW what Zeus would do to me?"   
  
Xena shrugged "Fine," then she rounded on Ares "so I guess it's the same deal for you?"   
  
Ares nodded quickly and Rebecca sighed, "C'mon Xena, he's dead, it can't be that bad after all it's only a few hours."   
  
Xena muttered "Easy for you to say!" and sat back down.   
  
In such a bright flash of pink that the rest had to shield their eyes Aphrodite appeared holding Caesar by the ear "Now you stop that and be nice... Or I'll make you sit between Del and Ar!"   
  
Caesar looked to the two gods, glaring at him; Ares had his arms crossed over his chest and was prepared to grab his sword and slice the guy for the fun of it at a moment's notice. Del had one hand casually resting on a dagger at her hip, with the other she waved at Caesar, just daring him to come sit next to her. Caesar quickly amended "Sorry Aphrodite... I'll play all the stupid game- Ahh," he moaned as Aphrodite twisted his ear "all the nice little games you want me to..."   
  
Aphrodite smiled, let go of his ear and said, "Sit! Time for spin the bottle!"   
  
Several people paled at the mention of this game. Aphrodite made four closets/cupboards appear, an empty bottle, and pointed to Hercules "You first!"   
  
Hercules looked rather unhappy at this thought, but he dutifully took the bottle and spun it. Landing at Gabrielle, who looked at the offending bottle wide eyed and exclaimed "Noooo, nuh uh!"   
  
Del piped up, trying not to laugh, "My party my rules, gotta go with who it lands with!"   
  
Cupid, who was laughing slightly, pointed at one of the cupboards and it swung open. Hercules and a blushing Gabrielle walked in and the door swung shut and locked. Aphrodite giggled "Two down! Curly, you're next!"   
  
Most of the group didn't even try to figure out what Aphrodite meant. Not really surprising, the bottle came to a stop at Aphrodite, the second cupboard opened and Aphrodite dragged Iolaus in, and the cupboard shut and locked. Cupid this time announced "Xena, your turn."   
  
Xena laughed and took the bottle; the smile promptly disappeared from her face as it landed at Ares. The smile was soon back on her face though, as she whispered something to Ares and they disappeared into the cupboard. Cupid shrugged and pointed to Del "Hostess' turn."   
  
Del shrugged "Okay!" and spun the bottle.   
  
It landed at Iphicles, and at that moment Caesar disappeared with a poof, and yelling could be heard from one of the cupboards. Del smiled as if to say 'you're gonna pay' and dutifully headed to the last cupboard, a small curse could be heard as it locked.   
  
Cupid smiled at Rebecca "What do you say we go shoot some warlords with my arrows?"   
  
Rebecca smiled, looking to the cupboards, "Sounds great, but you have to let Dite and Herc out, and put Iolaus and Gabby in the same cupboard, ok?"   
  
Cupid said, "Yeah I did that anyway, it was more for effect, ya know so they didn't think we paired them up beforehand."   
  
Rebecca grinned like a schoolgirl "Cool."   
  
Took Cupid's hand and they both disappeared.   
  


-VERY-  
***crowd yells: Thank gods it's finally over!!***  
-INSANE-


End file.
